DEAR YOU.

Dear Saifudin,

I dont know if you will ever read this but I purposely write this post especially for you, from the bottom of my heart because I know my url is forever in your address bar in your laptop. I really do hope you will come across this post before I update my next entry..


This past few months with you have been a blast one compared to our previous years, well, compared to before I was sick to be exact. Eversince I was sick for more than 6months, and you being almost there everytime I got sick, just changed alot of things. SO MANY things. Do you realise how our relationship become closer after that? How our parents combined to make me well, better again? Do you realise, you too, have changed to be more patient and understanding as ever? If you dont, well, here I am to tell you that. You have changed. And because of that, WE have changed. We seldom have those petty arguements, silly stupid off-hps fights anymore.. because of you. Or maybe, because I finally mature and grew up? Heh.

I know we have been thru hell. Actually bukan I, U yang banyak masok neraka cos u entered my life which is full of sins. To be honest, I am not a good girlfriend material - I da pernah bilang you dulu sebelom kita together, do you remember? - but you said you could change me and well, you did. You make me feel guilty everytime I want to do something that I know you wont like it if you got to know about. I have absolutely stopped all nonsense that might hurt you, b. I promised to myself I wont do it anymore, and like what you always remind me: You can lie to me, but you cannot lie to yourself.


Since I got to know you, swear I dont/cant stop thinking about you nomatter where I am and with who I went out with. I am still in love with you... and I swear its true. Sometimes I still cant believe that we are still together.. Maybe ini yang dorang cakap CINTA. We were a total strangers back then. I dont know who you were, which family you came from, orang baik ke tak, laki jenis ape u ni, and honestly speaking, I memang teragak-agak dulu when I nak meet you again after our first blind date tu.. I dont know if i will ever regret making my decision to meet someone I met behind the computer screen...


But syukur alhamdulillah, *air mata baru meleleh* you made me realise that you are not the same typical friendster/msn jerks even with your charming smiles and supersweet words that might "jerat" wanita-wanita yang lemah seperti I. EWAH CANGGIH OR WHAT MY MALAY! haha.


You came to my life, and I want you to be part of it till the day I close my eyes. I mean it dear. Do u remember you used to call me "nyayi"?? Then on one of our monthsary, you told me that you wished we could be together till we both be a real "nyayi" one day? I really cant wait for that day to come, dear. You know what's my phobia is? My deepest fear? It is to see me with someone else on your wedding day - (me with someone else attending your wedding) *air mata meleleh again this time air hingus turut meleleh*


Forgive me for all my past mistakes baby, for all my past stories that might upset you and hurt you.. I realised all those things Ive done to you is unforgivable if it were you who did it to me. Thanks b. Thanks for still accepting me and my flaws, thanks for still loving me even after you have seen me at my worst behaviour screaming and shouting like a kena sampok woman when Im mad. Heh, omg.. Bila teringat balik like so burok like that. I hope those screamings and argueing period of us dah lama berlalu and wont happen again in the future. Thanks for taking care of me while I was sick.. Those were the times I need you the most, and you were there every minute giving me all those encouraging words and actions. You are a really nice guy Muhd Saifudin.. You are god given gift to me, to change my lifestyle, to be who I am today. And I hope we will work as a team in building this castle of ours : KAN KU BINA ISTANA UNTUK KITA. Lets' go TEAM YANIEPUL! Kalau dah baca, jangan nak step taktau please Muhd, aku tunggu msg kau. Saaaaayangggg dia...!! *muackzzz*