Tragedi Oktober

 Assalamualaikum dear readers,

I guess October will always be somewhat memorable to me. I lost a baby in October, 5 years ago. This time, its not about lost of a baby but.. its an appearance of something I didn't plan to see (which I have always longed for).. Two double lines, a positive after a test kit.. But not to check if I am pregnant.. But for covid.

Yes, I am positive.💔

I didnt have any symptoms as of now. What made me checked today was when Ida told all of us that Abang Ijan was down and is positive. Since Mak, Abah, Shazad and Ida was here on Sunday, its best to get ourselves checked too. 

To my disbelief the faint line started to appear clearly... even after 3 tests. 👀

My feelings?

I don't know. Its not scary, but more to worry. Aydin was in school when I took the test. Abi was at work, on his normal 24 hour duty. At first, I didnt know what to do. I told the husband but macam biasa la.. He is too "positive thinking" sometimes I felt as if he doesnt really care about me. Want to know what? Today is the first time, I cried and beg him to not go to work in the morning.... like tiberrr.. I dont know why I am so emotional this lately. Ah, if you want to ask me whether I have any symptoms? -- Yes, I have. EMO... hahaha dont know this one PMS or what. I am so emotionally disturbed nowadays. Like asek nak marah, nak mengamok, nak nangis. Ah gitu aje la.😅

I update my husband first, then followed by The Said's groupchat cos they are all updating their ART result. All of them are negative, Alhamdulillah. Next, I called mama. She was in disbelief, she kept asking why and how come. I told her it might not be from Abang Ijan but might be me getting it from somewhere else. I then called Aydin's school to inform them about it. Which after that, dad helped me to fetch him. I thought I might not see Aydin again for the next 72 hours, but Alhamdulillah after checking with Ida about this. She said I can still take care of Aydin but monitor him, and keep a distance from him. I am so thankful for this self isolation at home thing. I really hope dan berdoa semoga my husband and Aydin will stay negative even after 72hours. I thought 72hours skejap seh, its six freaking days seh. Ya Allah.😞

I will be going to the SASH (Swab And Send Home) clinic tomorrow. I somehow hope my result will be negative. Bismillah. Stay safe always friends.

Xoxo💋