On a brighter note, Im very lucky to have him. He's very very patient. I dont know how he do it, but he always treat me good. Why cant I be like him? Eg. When Im out with my girls, I cant sms him like how he always sms me altho he's lepaking with his friends and worst of all; at times, die kat moto pn boleh sms aku. I loveeeeeeee thinking the negative things. Well, cause since sec 1, since I kenal the feeling of love, I always have this saying in my head while in love :
"BERHATI-HATI SEBELOM TERKENE" & "ITS BETTER TO LEAVE THAN TO BE LEFT"
In my mind, there's always have this thought that the guy will somehow leave me when he made me love him. So thats why so far, of all the exes, I was the one who asked for the BreakUp. Breaking up hurts especially when you really love that someone so much, but life has to go on. I learn my lessons only after Saifudin enter my life when Im turning 18. Tho I just met him not long before that, I trusted him. Padehal, kenal thru friendster siaks. He made me believe that I can be faithful, that I can love someone and at the same time, only love that someone. In the past, I had troubles to being faithful.
And if i dream about something bad, I will think and think and think about it and I will trust my dream more than him. Pelik siak. Sampai gado besar kadang2.. U know dreams sometimes can come to real , what!
Tho I already found my Mr.Everything now, at times, I still carry on with the saying in my head. I over-think about his past life. About his relationship before ours and I got so paranoid. But I know, he's not whom I thought he is.
Truthfully, I never fall in love like this before. I've never been treated like this before. I never got angry like this often before. (well, he say he loves making me angry!) Die yang paling manje kan aku selain my parent.
I love it especially when he rubs my hair and kiss me on the forehead when the traffic light turns red. ;') I really hope there's more to come for us. I need to control my penyakit paranoid.
Yesterday, suddenly he asked me if Im willing to give what he wants.
I got so shocked by his words cause he seldom talk like that in sms. He jarang minta anything. Ape yang die pena mintak kat aku is.. To be setia kat die sorang, to tolong mama buat keje rumah and... jangan maen computer malam malam. :D
Then yesterday, while Im having lunch in school, he msged me this:
"Dear.. If i minta sesuatu dari u leh??"
I asked him lah what..
His replied was...
"Can delete friendster??"
I was sooo shocked loh. I deleted once (my 2004 established friendster account) on his 20th birthday. Now, I re-created a new account and the friendster is OURS, but he da tk check sangat cause he's busy with his working life and soccer. So its partly mine but all the info is US. I mean to pictures and profile, all I talk was about him.
I asked him why...
He replied...
"Just delete it... Tu je i minta... Ade laki u waiting ke?? Or u msg2 ngan laki?? :-( Jujur dengan me.."
I was reply-less after that. I love friendster. :( Its like a habit already lor. How siaa. I know I still have facebook, but I love friendster more. :( Its my homepage everytime I open my internet page. Haiz, maybe I will delete it one fine day later, but not now. I still cant let it go yet. Ape yang aku tau, aku tk contact jantan laen belakang matair aku. Haizz.
Oh yeah, latest update about my self? I started working yesterday. At the same place (: I hope I can stay here for as long as I can. The longest I can stay put in a work is around 7 months. Hmmm. Cant wait for 10feb. Heehee. Wish me luck in layaring this love bahtera together with the one I love. Amiiiin, insyallah.
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