Having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It doesn't happen just because you're in love or perfect for each other. Marriage is a partnership, and like any partnership, it takes commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong. We look at ways to make sure that a marriage works.
Don’t take each other for granted
Everyone needs to feel appreciated every once in awhile so it's vital to never take each other for granted. You need to constantly tell and show each other how important their roles are in the marriage. Continue doing the things you’ve done before getting married like slipping in love notes in his coat pocket or even simple things like giving each other kisses before leaving for work.
Create sanctuaries
Couples sometimes lose sight of each other when they start having children. They tend to be less dedicated to the relationship and not prioritise being with each other. Yes, having a children around can be a handful but take time out and create date nights where the both of you can have some alone time with each other. This should be sacred time so make sure your bedroom is off limits to children.
Fight fair
Don't be afraid to argue, but do it respectfully. Stick to the issues rather than making personal attacks, and learn to negotiate and compromise. Honest but constructive arguments will actually strengthen your marriage in the long run.
Prevent boredom
A new study has found that boredom is a powerful force in eroding marital bliss. Couples who reported being in a rut seven years into their marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationship but closeness over time can eliminate that effect. Some boredom is inevitable in a marriage, but it is absolutely possible for a couple to reignite a relationship. Couples should do more exciting things and share novel activities even as they age to nurture the relationship.
Know what’s involved
There’s a lack of real reverence for what's involved. Couples underestimate the commitment it takes and the effort it requires. When you're merging two lives, there's going to be a constant pain of adjustment no matter how well suited you are. You're sharing space, time, energy and money. You've got in-laws, kids, religion that you have to consult each other about. Marriage is different from what a lot of people expect. It's a partnership and that involves sacrifices so you can’t sit back and expect it all to work out on its own.
Agree on finances
Amazingly, many couples never discuss money except in the most superficial ways until after they're married. One of the leading causes of arguments in marriages is money issues. Before you walk down the aisle, discuss your feelings about things like joint accounts, paying bills and saving money. Talk about how you will pay expenses, and who will handle the money.
Share responsibilities
If either partner feels as though they are taking on too much responsibility in the household it can lead to resentment. Not only does sharing these responsibilities prevent resentment but it also gives the couple an opportunity to work as a team which strengthens bonds.
Improve communication
Couples need to speak openly and honestly about all the day-to-day issues that will inevitably arise as you share your lives. When the channels of communication are open, the relationship thrives because there is nothing off-limits to talk about. From the smallest thing to big things, discuss everything. Never deem something as insignificant.
Love, respect and commitment
If you don't have admiration for each other, things will never work out. Don't let anything get in the way of valuing each other. No matter what happens outside of your marriage, it's vital that you and your spouse always treat each other with love and respect. It’s important that you put your marriage first. If you're committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there's nothing that the two of you can't accomplish.
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